Here is a small selection of Latin jokes, funny sayings and even some riddles for your pleasure!

Yes, that’s right, even the Romans and other Latin speakers had a sense of humor.

And today, many still find enjoyment in Latin humor, albeit of a more modern kind!

Just click on the “+” sign below to toggle the answer.

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   Q. Cur gallina per viam transire maluit? R. Ut in altera parte viae ambularet

   Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
   A. To get to the other side.

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   Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.

   To boldly go where no man has gone before.

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   Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus vntosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

   In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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   Catapultam habeo. Isi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane.

   I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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   Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.

   I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

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   Cum catapulatae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

   When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

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   Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

   Garbage in, garbage out.

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   Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

   If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

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   Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.

   The only good language is a dead language.

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    Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.

    Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

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    Die dulci fruere! Et sit vis tecum.

    Have a nice day! And may the force be with you.

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    Ventis secundis, tene cursum.

    Go with the flow.

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    In curro meo ab Officina Baiuoaria Mechanica fabricato habeo machinam quae litteras per aethera transmittit.

    I have a fax machine in my BMW.

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    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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    Heia, comes, num aliquid agitur?

    Hey, you got a problem, pal?

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    Quando prandimus?

    What time is lunch?

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    Tam diu minime visu!

    Long time no see!

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    Vale, lacerte!

    See you later, alligator!

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    Cogito ergo doleo.

    I think therefore I am depressed.

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    Sona si Latine loqueris.

    Honk if you speak Latin.

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    Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!

    Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

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    Illiud Latine dici non potest.

    You can't say that in Latin.

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    Non possum credere me totum edisse.

    I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

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    Puto vos esse molestissimos.

    I think that you are very annoying.

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    Tua consilia omnia nobis clariora sunt quam lux. Tu delenda est.

    All your plans are clearer than light to us. You must be destroyed.

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    Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra?

    How long are you going to abuse our patience?

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    Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

    If you can read this, you are overeducated.

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    Ille sine toga per viam curret.

    That man is running through the street without a toga.

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    Ecce potestas casei.

    Behold the power of cheese.

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    Ubi est bibula?

    Where's the beef?

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    Cave canem!

    Beware of the dog!

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    Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!

    Look at the time! My wife will kill me!

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    Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.

    I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

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    Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

    If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

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    Da mihi sis bubulae frustum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum.

    Give me a hamburger, french fries, and a thick shake.

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    Da mihi crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo.

    Give me a pizza with everything on it!

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    Braccae tuae aperiuntur

    Your fly is open

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    In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes.

    You have a big piece of spinach on your front teeth.

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    Non eravi perniciose!

    I did not commit a fatal error!

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    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

    Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe

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    Canism meus id comedit

    My dog ate it

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    Sane ego te vocavi. Forsitan capedictum tuum desit.

    I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken.

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    Carrus meus se movere noluit

    My car wouldn't start

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    Hostes alienigieni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?

    I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?

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    Adiutorium nostrum in Nomine Domini Qui fecit caelum et terram. Implere ruinas.

    If the liberals don't hate you, you're doing something wrong.

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    Cessent iurgia maligna, cessent lites; et in medio nostri sit Christus Deus!

    Pray for the salvation of the ignorant, and the conversion of huge numbers of sinners!

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    Morsus mihi

    Bite me

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    Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo.

    Don't call me, I'll call you.

Related Reading:

Berlitz Latin American Spanish Phrase Book & Dictionary (Spanish Edition)This portable, practical phrase book is packed with Latin flavor and flair. From everyday expressions to culture and safety tips, the Berlitz Latin ... Read More >