Here is a small selection of Latin jokes, funny sayings and even some riddles for your pleasure!

Yes, that’s right, even the Romans and other Latin speakers had a sense of humor.

And today, many still find enjoyment in Latin humor, albeit of a more modern kind!

Just click on the “+” sign below to toggle the answer.

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   Q. Cur gallina per viam transire maluit? R. Ut in altera parte viae ambularet

   Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
   A. To get to the other side.

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   Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit.

   To boldly go where no man has gone before.

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   Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus vntosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

   In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

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   Catapultam habeo. Isi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane.

   I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

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   Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.

   I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

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   Cum catapulatae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

   When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

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   Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

   Garbage in, garbage out.

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   Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

   If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

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   Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua.

   The only good language is a dead language.

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    Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.

    Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

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    Die dulci fruere! Et sit vis tecum.

    Have a nice day! And may the force be with you.

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    Ventis secundis, tene cursum.

    Go with the flow.

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    In curro meo ab Officina Baiuoaria Mechanica fabricato habeo machinam quae litteras per aethera transmittit.

    I have a fax machine in my BMW.

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    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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    Heia, comes, num aliquid agitur?

    Hey, you got a problem, pal?

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    Quando prandimus?

    What time is lunch?

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    Tam diu minime visu!

    Long time no see!

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    Vale, lacerte!

    See you later, alligator!

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    Cogito ergo doleo.

    I think therefore I am depressed.

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    Sona si Latine loqueris.

    Honk if you speak Latin.

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    Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!

    Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

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    Illiud Latine dici non potest.

    You can't say that in Latin.

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    Non possum credere me totum edisse.

    I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

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    Puto vos esse molestissimos.

    I think that you are very annoying.

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    Tua consilia omnia nobis clariora sunt quam lux. Tu delenda est.

    All your plans are clearer than light to us. You must be destroyed.

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    Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra?

    How long are you going to abuse our patience?

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    Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.

    If you can read this, you are overeducated.

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    Ille sine toga per viam curret.

    That man is running through the street without a toga.

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    Ecce potestas casei.

    Behold the power of cheese.

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    Ubi est bibula?

    Where's the beef?

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    Cave canem!

    Beware of the dog!

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    Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit!

    Look at the time! My wife will kill me!

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    Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.

    I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

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    Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

    If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

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    Da mihi sis bubulae frustum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum.

    Give me a hamburger, french fries, and a thick shake.

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    Da mihi crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo.

    Give me a pizza with everything on it!

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    Braccae tuae aperiuntur

    Your fly is open

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    In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes.

    You have a big piece of spinach on your front teeth.

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    Non eravi perniciose!

    I did not commit a fatal error!

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    Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

    Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe

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    Canism meus id comedit

    My dog ate it

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    Sane ego te vocavi. Forsitan capedictum tuum desit.

    I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken.

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    Carrus meus se movere noluit

    My car wouldn't start

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    Hostes alienigieni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?

    I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?

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    Adiutorium nostrum in Nomine Domini Qui fecit caelum et terram. Implere ruinas.

    If the liberals don't hate you, you're doing something wrong.

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    Cessent iurgia maligna, cessent lites; et in medio nostri sit Christus Deus!

    Pray for the salvation of the ignorant, and the conversion of huge numbers of sinners!

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    Morsus mihi

    Bite me

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    Noli me vocate, ego te vocabo.

    Don't call me, I'll call you.

Suggested Reading:

Veni, Vidi, Vici (Second Edition): Conquer Your Enemies and Impress Your Friends with Everyday Latin

As entertaining as it is addictive and informative, VENI, VIDI, VICI has more than 1,000 Latin words and phrases to help you intelligently insult, ... Read More >